There were these three turkeys. Well, there were these three turkeys among many on the Jones farm, but our tale requires that we mention only three of the many. Their names were Al, Newt and Red. Red was a bold bird, hefty from buttering up to Farmer Smith at feeding time and always being first in line.
When farmer Smith would enter the turkey pen, with feed, Red would even attempt to open the gate for him. And after the feather flying frenzy of feeding time, Red would follow farmer Smith towards the gate, often earning another little bit of corn from Smith’s pocket. Red was indeed a big bird.
Newt was a foul bird, complaining often and not one to trust the leadership of the Smith’s, something didn’t seem right. Al, on the other hand, made Newt’s suspicions seem minor. He would strut about all day pointing out all the reasons why so many turkey’s could never hope to survive…how the turkey pen was overpopulated. He had many thaories about what disastors would befall his less intelligent companions. And, it is one of those theories we will mention later in this tale.
While Al and Newt debated often, they never quite noticed the extra servings Red was getting, nor his method of kissing up to farmer Smith. They barely noticed Red at all, to be honest.
One cold day, farmer Smith appeared as usual and after the festive, feather flying feeding frenzy some hours had passed when suddenly Newt noticed Red was missing. Concern grew and Newt and Al went looking for Red. They, being smart (for turkeys) managed to escape the pen and for the first time in their turkey lives explored the great farmyard!
Now where was Red? They checked the barn, the chicken coup…having a laugh at those hens who worked so hard laying eggs. What a way to earn their feed! Newt gave them all a sound speech about eggs having a right to live! As they looked for Red, Al preached away about all the dangers of the overpopulated turkey pen. Newt grew tired of listening, he’d heard it all before and Newt decided to explore the Smith farmhouse! He slipped away from Al, and enjoying the peace and quiet managed to enter through an open window.
He could see the Smith’s and their family gathered in the dining room, they had just begun their own feeding time and had bowls of salad. Newt was careful not to get caught as he explored the house. He went upstairs and found the bedrooms, the bathroom and some closets. He snuck back downstairs and saw the living room, then he crept past the Smiths and into their kitchen.
And there was Red! Headless, feathers missing, and skin burnt brown and steaming! Newt made a mad dash for the open window and out to the farmyard! He ran about, “Al! Al! Al!”
Al appeared from the outhouse where he had been searching for Red, “What is it Newt?”
“Gather up all the turkeys…we’ve got to get out of here! You were right!”, responded Newt.
“Cripes Al! Global warming is REAL!!!!!!!!!”